One sunny night after the Korean-French Civil Holy War ended, Tails Doll was peeing on a tree when suddenly it spontaneously combusted. Jeff The Killer heard about this. So he stole the Failuremobile (which was a Segway with a can of beans taped to it) and rushed to the scene.Once Jefferson got there, he heard a 2sp00ky noise in the bushes. It was my Uncle Phil, who had hyperrealistic blood all over his Uggs. Uncle Phillip mumbled something about 12-sided dice and lunged at Jeffery. Jeff waz ded.
Meanwhile in West Philadelphia, Oprah was taking her Prozac when two kittens ran out of the pet store and dumped a bowl of broccoli pudding on her head. Oprah drowned in the broccoli pudding.
Later, I was taking a stroll in the park when someone showed me the music video for "Turn Down For What". Because of this, I almost died. But then a horde of raging otakus rushed in and beat the ever-living God out of me. Then I DID die.
THE END